'This is the real deal. This is not a test.'

Three years after Katrina came to town, the Big Easy is set to host another major storm. Gustav, a Cat 3 hurricane with 120 mph winds, is focusing its eye on New Orleans. This could be a good or bad thing for the GOP, which hosts its blab-fest this week, because it means that Gov. Bobby Jindal of Louisiana, Gov. Rick Perry of Texas and King George will not be attending. Team Bush will be in the Batcave monitoring the storm, except for Bush himself, who will be in Texas. The Gentleman from Arizona and his new girlfriend are scheduled to make a stop in the region as the storm of the century threatens to once again take the spotlight off his campaign just when he got it back. Mandatory evacuations were ordered for Jefferson County and New Orleans and every agency that screwed things up the last time is lining up to show they're Ameri-CANS -- not Ameri-CAN'Ts -- this time. More than a million reportedly fled the region Saturday, and all lanes of the roads were changed to flow in only one direction: out. Mayor Ray Nagin has advised everyone get the hell out of town, noting that "if you decide to stay; you are on your own."