Bad Parents - no biscuit

The boy and his balloon incident has apparently been determined to be a publicity stunt according to Larimer County (Colo.) Sheriff Jim Alderden, a hoax that didn't even stand up to scientific scrutiny if anyone had thought to bother about it while it was happening. Nobody has been arrested yet, but charges may be in the offing. The charges may include three felony charges - conspiracy between the husband and the wife to commit a crime, contributing to the delinquency of a minor and an attempt to influence a public servant - and a misdemeanor charge - filing a false report. Apparently it was the television interviews that did the family in.

Central Asian militant mayhem

While Pakistan finally gets its offensive underway against the Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan in South Waziristan, the militant factions continue to spread mayhem throughout the region. This time it's Iran. The Jundallah — or Soldiers of God — took responsibility for an attack that killed five ranking members of Iran's Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps in the Sistan-Baluchistan region. The Iranian leadership reflexively blamed the U.S. and the UK for this attack. The region is predominately Sunni and has been involved in a struggle with Tehran for years and the officials were there to try to smooth out relations. Both the Pakistanis and the Iranians have vowed to deal a 'crushing blow' to their militant groups. Sadly, recent history has shown that this may not work out as planned.

About a boy

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Here is a story tailor-made for "The Daily Show." A silver saucer-shaped experimental balloon took a two-hour tour on national television. Based on the testimony of an older brother, authorities believed Falcon Heene, 6, was in a box attached to the balloon. The Colorado National Guard deployed a OH-58 helicopter -- at $700 an hour -- and prepared to send a Black Hawk -- at $4,600 an hour -- to rescue the boy when he was believed to be on the balloon. Turns out the 6-year-old boy was discovered hiding in a crawl space in the garage. The balloon, powered by an electrical unit that ran on double-C batteries was the property of Mayumi Heene, who's claim to fame was being featured on the reality TV show Wife Swap, and his father, Richard, meteorologist and former television weatherman and apparently a storm chaser. One consequence of this little trip up, up and away may be a prolonged episode of Child Swat.

Pakistan's militant problem

Five militants held 39 hostages and holed up in Pakistan's army headquarters in Rawalpindi Saturday. The attack began at 11:30 a.m. and started with a group of 8 to 10 militants. Five made it inside the facility. Three of the militants were wearing explosives and two of them successfully blew themselves up. Pakistani forces did capture Dr. Usman who has been implicated in several recent hig-profile bombings.

The fact that the militants got access to the highly guarded facility is worrisome enough. To make matters worse, the army got a warning from the police and apparently blew it off!  What may be just as worrisome is the standard response that America is confident in Pakistan's ability to keep it's nukes out of the hands of the militants. Even before the attack on army headquarters, the Pakistani army was gearing up for a new offensive against the militants in the tribal region of South Waziristan. Having embarrassed the army, the militants may have just made the attack imminent. After the latest attack on the Indian embassy in Kabul, however, the possibility of militants igniting their own regional armageddon remains a worrisome possibility.

Zombies on the brain

If we're really going to ask the question why we suddenly love zombies, the prior question would certainly be why do zombies love us? Or to be more precise, why do they love our brains? It seems that the ripe and juicy eight pounds of gray matter is giving up a few more of its secrets just in time for the Halloween holiday. It seems that the brain's regions concerned with social intelligence light up when one is in the midst of a religious experience. This delicious piece of the brain enlarges that area "devoted to empathy, symbolic communication and emotional regulation" in true believers. This might seem a good thing unless you were a brat growing up. Simon Moore's Law suggests that "69% of people who had been convicted of a violent act by age 34 reported eating candy almost every day as youngsters." If your parents were busy buying you off with candy, you may be an ideal recruit as a crew member in Zombieland. Researchers are showing how it may now be possible to electrically induce that notorious shambling motion we've come to expect from the walking dead. Science has one more little wrinkle to add to his horror story: evolution only moves in one direction. If it turns out that zombies are the future, then there'll be no going back.