By the Christmas rockets' red glare

All is neither calm nor bright in the Holy Land this holiday season. Militants in the Gaza Strip have decided to renew their attacks on Israel. The military wing of Hamas, Izzedine Al Qassam claimed the attacks were to avenge the deaths of five of its own by the Israeli military. It seems that Hamas may have been using the recently expired six-month truce to improve it's striking capacity. Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas is hopeful that Egypt will be able to broker another cease-fire. Israel, for its part, seems to have opted for retaliation, killing a member of Hamas during an airstrike. However, the renewed fighting seems not to have stopped pilgrims from traveling to Bethlehem, which itself lies within the bounds of the West Bank. One thing is clear, the renewed fighting will not ensure Heavenly Peace within the bounds of the Holy Land this holiday season.

These shoes were made for throwin'

There was an Iraqi journalist who threw a shoe. T'was no ordinary shoe mind you, but a very special shoe. Two of them in a size 10. And away to the Lame Duck President they flew. But that's only where the story began for poor Muntader al-Zaidi. While he hasn't been seen publicly since the incident, it seems he is seeking the forgiveness of Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki for his "ugly action." The correspondent for the TV channel in Cairo, Al-Baghdadiya, has become the talk of the government and the pride of Baghdad. He's even been offered a new job with a Lebanese television station "from the second he threw the shoe." Unless pardoned, as Maliki is under pressure to do, al-Zaidi could face up to 15 years in prison for the charge of "aggression against a president." That's a hefty penalty for the man who had to live with those shoes.

If the shoe hits

It's only the highest insult in the Arab world.

Staking her claim

Gov. Blag Dracul is facing another threat closer to home. Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan, the Vampire Slayer, is now calling for the Illinois Supreme Court to put a nail in the coffin of Gov. Rod Blagojevich claiming that his arrest on corruption charges makes him unfit to fulfill his duties as governor and to prevent him from doing anything else in the name of the state of Illinois. The governor’s chief of staff has quit his post and the Illinois General Assembly is considering impeachment proceedings. Captain Hope is conducting an unexpected Spainish inquisition of Camp Obama to make sure none of his Action Rangers is in any way tainted by Blagula. It seems that president-elect Barack Obama has spent a great deal of time and energy avoiding the bloodsucking vampire. Sources are reporting that the governor’s been engaging in a lot of praying as twilight falls on his Springfield regime. It’s unlikely that any amount of divine intervention is going to prevent Blagula from getting dusted by either Patrick Fitzgerald van Helsing or Madigan the Vampire Slayer.

Legal. Personal. Political

Despite returning to work after putting up $4,500 to get himself out of hock, Blag Dracul is facing mounting pressure to step down in the wake of influence peddling charges. It seems that Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, had at least five candidates in mind for the U.S. Senate seat being vacated by Barack Obama, including himself. But it seems that Blagula has been shaking down others during his career as governor, including The Tribune Corp. One can hope that Patrick Fitzgerald will put a stake into this bloodsucking governor before he can strike again.

Arrested developments

What a time for the Chicago Tribune to be filing for bankruptcy protection. The newest governor going to jail this year is none other than Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich and his chief of staff. It seems that the governor, in his constitutional capacity as governor, thought the position being vacated by Barack Obama was an actual seat, like something in say Soldiers Field that could be bought and sold once vacated. This razzle-dazzle dynamic duo was arrested by the FBI. They seemed to be running quite a racket in Springfield and tried to intimidate the editorial board of the Tribune because the governor didn't like what Sam Zell was saying about him. But just as Illinois is the land of Lincoln, it is also the land of Capone, and the federal government's untouchable U.S. Attorney Patrick J. Fitzgerald was there to explain it all. For those of you keeping score, Fitzgerald also bagged Scooter Libby and Conrad Lord Black. In this little affair it seems that Illinois bankruptcies stretch well beyond North Michigan Avenue.

Oh Blackwater, keep on rollin'

Five former members of Blackwater Worldwide are facing a blizzard of charges in connection with a Sept. 16, 2007 incident in Nisour Square, Baghdad, that left 17 Iraqis dead. The suspects surrendered to federal authorities in Salt Lake City, Utah, on Monday. A sixth man pleaded guilty to two counts of manslaughter last week. Blackwater itself is not facing charges. Even so, it constitutes yet another black eye for the security firm.

One hell of an 'international migraine'

On that other front in the War on Terrorism things continue to get ugly. A report by the International Council on Security and Development contends that the Taliban's influence in Afghanistan has significantly increased since a year ago. The problem is particularly worrisome in the wake of an attack in Pakistan by militants on NATO supplies. The guards at Pakistan's Port World Logistics terminal were overwhelmed by about 300 militants. In the meantime, Pakistani officials were waffling over whether Zaki ur-Rehman Lakhvi, the alleged mastermind of the Mumbai attacks and a member of the officially banned militant group Lashkar-e-Taiba, had been captured in a raid on a training camp on Monday. But a still mad as hell India is sniffing warily over the news of the raids which it suspects is an attempt to buy time. With a friend like Pakistan, fighting the Taliban and bringing stability to Afghanistan is going to be an ugly affair indeed.

Angry and inquiring minds want to know

Answers are beginning to emerge to questions that many are asking in the wake of the Mumbai terrorist attacks. What did the Indian government know? That there was a maritime attack against Mumbai in the works. When did they know it? A least a month ago. Pakistan is again in the hot seat with India demanding the Pakistani government turn over 20 people, including Dawood Ibrahim, India's most wanted. But India's not the only country pressing Pakistan with demands. China is not amused and wants know what did Pakistan know and when did it know it. China is worried about the possibility of Islamic terrorism within its own borders and doesn't want its erstwhile ally expanding the franchise. And even as the questions continue to proliferate, its likely that no one will like the answers that will emerge, especially the Indian government.

We told you so

What was so blindingly obvious to everyone on Main Street just became news to the Federal government and to Wall Street to day. The National Bureau of Economic Research released findings today saying that the economy has been in a recession since December of last year. It also turns out to be one of the longest downturns since the Great Depression. The DOW tanked in response losing 679.95 points. Federal Reserve Chairman and economic Nostradamus Ben Bernake, speaking from Austin, Texas, stated that the current economic weakness will be with us for a while and that “The likely duration of the financial turmoil is difficult to judge.” And while the Fed may cut interest rates yet again, they may be at the very end of what that could achieve. And while the pain that average Americans have been feeling has been very real, how long they'll have to endure it and what will cure it isn't so obvious.