When in the course of electoral events ...

A major surprise in the election was the great state of Indiana., a traditional GOP stronghold. The state supported a Democratic presidential candidate for the first time since 1964. Tippecanoe and Monroe counties seemed to agree on one thing: Barack Obama was their man. Obama swept the major college communities and also carried da' Region, all of it, along with Starke county. Capt. Hope also wasted no time pulling his Action Rangers together, naming Rahm Emanuel as his chief of staff and John D. Podesta, Valerie Jarrett and Pete Rouse as the co-chairs of his transition team along with Chris Lu. Needless to say, this particular defeat of the GOP by the Democrats will likely result in the eruption of a blamestorm. What will be surprising is if it results in meaningful, fundamental party reform.

Meet the New Boss

It is now officially over. Barack Obama is the new president of the United States. Bush is still president for 2 and a half months. The leader board is 338 Obama to 155 McCain. The Senate lies at Democrats 56 and GOP 40. Indiana remains unprojectable

12:15 Grant Park. The crowd shouted out "Yes we can!" Michelle and his daughter came out with him then departed just before he addressed the crowd.

"Change has come to America."

The Obama crowd was more gracious to McCain than the McCain crowd was to Obama. Jesse Jackson was in the crowd in Grant Park. Apparently the First Daughter will be getting a new puppy when they get to the White House.

I'd like to thank the Academy ...

"I will never forget to whom this campaign truly belongs. To you. ... This is your victory."

"You did it because you understand the enormity of the task ahead."

"The road ahead is long and the climb is steep. ... I promise you we will get there. There will be setbacks and false starts. I will always be honest with you."

"Let us summon a new spirit. We rise or fall as one nation, as one people."

"What progress will we have made. This is our moment. This is our chance."

"Yes we can."

11:18 John McCain has conceded the election. He was gracious and supportive. He also took personal responsiblity for the loss before the crowd: "The failure is mine, not your's. ... Every candidate makes mistakes and I'm sure I've made my share of them."

No parting words from Sarah Palin.

Live blogging election coverage

11 The president of the United States is Barack Obama! We now have a Hawai'ian president.

10:54 Virginia has just gone for Obama! What were the odds of that? Hockey dads are to blame. And so are the plumbers.

10:50 Who's ready for a Cenak Attack!

10:45 Charles Ogletree thinks Michelle Obama will make a great first lady. He apparently has a great jump shot.

10:39 Welcome to the Mouth of Madness, the Escher-like hell that is McCain headquarters thanks to one Samantha Bee.

And Aasif Mandvi from the Pakistani Border. Apparently young terrorists prefer Obama. Go figure.

10:34 The Bradley Effect ... what Bradley Effect?

10:31 "Actually Live!" Colbert is live blogging and twittering and the election. Hmmm ...

10:25 Patronage vs principle is what did the GOP in according to Steve Forbes. One five minute Indecision 2008 interview was more interesting than an equivalent period of panel time on CNN. Why is that, especially when Missers Stewart and Colbert have no Magic Board?

10:23 There seems to be no time delay on the Indecision 2008 program as a "shit" got through. Jon: "The crowd is going for the animal abuse jokes."

Steve Forbes explains why McCain is losing: The credit crisis.

10:15 McCain is 10 percent cork. It's Jason Jones at Obama Headquarters in "Bambi" land. John Oliver is so much more entertaining than David Gergen. There's nothing quite like a turd-pounder with cheese.

10:05 Jon Stewart: "We've lost a lot of candidates in the back of that Olds."

10:04 Cockatoo. Roscow

10 Dick Gephart set on fire and blown up in the intro. Coool!

9:56 Back to the panel. David Gergen has dominated the panel. Now it's a comparison of the two sets of crowds and a discussion of the idea of "the real America." Joe the Plumber is the subject and how he doesn't represent that America.

WARNING! WARNING! VOTER ALERT WILL ROBINSON! Utah and Kansas go to McCain and Iowa to Obama. The leaderboard reads 89 to 206 Obama.

Now to the real coverage on Comedy Central.

9:55 Let go of the "Perfect Storm" metaphor already! It's been done to death. Let it go! This metaphor needs to be outlawed.

9:50 WARNING! WARNING! VOTER ALERT WILL ROBINSON! New Mexico goes to Capt. Hope and Louisiana will go to McCain. The scoreboard reads 199 Obama and 78 McCain. The Popular vote has a 320,000 vote spread.

Looking ahead to 10 p.m. there ought to be another major set of polls closing. John King, apparently only the guys get to touch the Magic Boards, just took 10 minutes of our valuable time to demonstrate how even if McCain succeeds in sweeping middle America, he won't win the left coast state and can't possibly get the 270 electoral votes to win.

If Meghan McCain needs a shoulder to cry on ...

9:37 WARNING! WARNING! VOTER ALERT WILL ROBINSON! Here's that important projection we were promised just before the commercial break: The Wolf is howling that Obama will take O-HI-O. The score is now 194 to 69 with Obama close to finish this game.

Florida, Virginia and North Carolina are really close. Campbell Brown still hasn't gotten to touch the Magic Board.

Back to Grant Park where we can now hear Madam Malveaux on her mic this time. Back to Phoenix where Dana Bash has it much easier since the ambient decible level is decidely lower. She's reported that they've turned the news off at the Biltmore. Figures.

9:24 There is an awful lot of white hair in these panels.U.S. News and World Report's poor Geogia Borger kept trying to jump in but kept being drowned out. Do the panelists get to keep their official CNN laptops?

WARNING! WARNING! VOTER ALERT WILL ROBINSON! West Virginia goes to the Gentleman from Arizona. Might as well, it's dirt poor. Hank Williams is playing "Born to Boogie" at the Biltmore on an acoustic guitar to an unenthusiastic crowd. Sad really.

9:16 So you're working for the GOP and your party is having its ass handed to it and the evening is just starting. What the hell do you do? A category 5 blamestorm is likely just around the corner. John Sununu is being shown the door by the new Democratic Senator from New Hampshire.

WARNING! WARNING! VOTER ALERT WILL ROBINSON! Mitch McConnell in Kentucky is staying in the Senate.

9:12 The Senate is now at 52 percent Democrats vs 33 percent to the GOP. Indiana is still up for grabs! Florida is still in question.

WARNING! WARNING! VOTER ALERT WILL ROBINSON! The Gentleman from Arizona takes Georgia with a massive landslide by 60 percent with 34 percent of the vote counted. God that music is annoying. 52 percent of the vote has now gone for Obama in Florida.

9:03 Back to voter analysis with Solidad O'Brien. The touch screen stopped working, whoops!

It's that obnoxious heavy metal music again. That must mean it's new results. Why heavy on the guitars and drums? Why couldn't we have a classical score?

Bill Bennent: "What Bradley affect. Our country's grown up."

A change in the perception of the nation both at home and abroad if Obama wins.

8:58 The Wolf is calling Alabama for McCain! Oh it was expected. Bummer. UH! Wait we may have something indicative of a trend.

WARNING! WARNING! VOTER ALERT WILL ROBINSON! New Electoral vote numbers. 174 votes for Obama and 49 for McCain. The magic number is 270.

8:55 The analysis of candidate performance by county after its votes have been counted seems fairly pointless. Who cares if McCain underperformed in a county he won?

Anderson Cooper has joined The Wolf and we've returned to the five-headed panel. Oh yah ... And why are there all of these people walking around in the background? Who are those people and why are they there? And here are the other four including the bald James Carvell. Nice shine on the back of the head. Three white men in suits and this poor African American woman sandwiched within.

Nobody thinks McCain has much of a chance at this point.

The Wolf has howled again. Kay Hagen beats Elizabeth Dole in North Carolina! Near the end of this particular Senate race Dole accused Hagen of Godlessness? WTH!

8:45 The Biltmore in Phoenix is dead compared to Grant Park in Chicago. That's got to suck.

8:36 Why doesn't Campbell Brown get to touch the Magic Board?
The Wolf is howling again, must be new numbers. Pennsylvania is projected to go to Obama. The numbers are now 102 electoral votes to Capt. Hope and 34 to the Gentleman from Arizona.

8:30 Post-grads voted for and handed New Hampshire to Obama despite the work that the Gentleman from Arizona put in to keep it in his pocket. That's got to hurt. Campbell and King are giving up some color commentary and playing with the voter board. You'd think this was the Superbowl.

It's coming down to Warner vs Warner in Virgina. I keep waiting for King to accidently hit the "Reset All" field.

8:25 There's a sizable ticker. The Dems have captured 45 Senate seats so far this evening and the GOP have retained 29 seats. 30 percent of the precincts are in and Obama is ahead 53 to 47 percent in Florida. And our next very special guest is David Axlerod!
"What's you're game plan" cries the Wolf. Axelrod: "He's going to speak when we know something."

"This really isn't about luck," said Axelrod.

Following the bit about superstitions comes the bit about the passing of Obama's grandmother. Could we please move on to the next poor sacrifical lamb to be dragged before The Big Bad Wolf. We're bored. Even the cats are bored.

8:15 We're seeing a pattern. Testing a trend. McCain is underperforming King George. The touch screen is really neat. It looks like they've decided to take something from sports reporting. They have tags that allow them to change the data by year for comparison. Indiana is filling in. It's Stupid county's turn on the big board.
Grant park is packed. Susanna Malveaux has a new mic. Yippie! You still can't hear her/

8 p.m. 270 is the magic number. So far it's 8 states 77 electoral votes for Obama and 2 states and 34 votes for McCain. They have a very obnoxious call up for their campaign results. The Wolf is howling out the results while letting the votes come in yet.
"We're going to be conservative and count the votes."

7:55 VOTER ALERT! John McCain is expected to carry South Carolina as expected. Vermont projected to go to Obama. Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania. Who wins there will win the election. Unless they don't.

7:50 The CNN magic board analysis sliced and diced the exit poll data earlier in the evening prior to the availability of real numbers. This included much silliness. In crunching the numbers discovered that 2 out of 3 voters who immigrated from Omicron Persei 8 said they voted for the Gentleman from Arizona based on last minute autodialers that claimed that Joey was Obama's favorite candidate on "Friends."

7:45 Never ask a correspondent to set the scene when you have approximately 1 million Chicagoans standing behind you.

"When will we know?" "What is it that we're looking at?" "What we're looking at is real numbers."

7:33 Silent major vs silent minority? Post-facto exit polls? How many analysts does it take to change a light bulb. New Florida math - Obama is now ahead.

7:30 The magic board with 12 percent of the precincts reporting in Indiana, McCain and Obama are running neck and neck at 52 to 47 percent and Marion, Monroe, Lake, Porter and LaPorte have not yet reported in.

Florida numbers are suspect: Uh huh.

The good, the bad and the general

The General who will never get to be President, thanks to King George, didn't need a presentation to power home the point that he has his differences with Team Bush. Former head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and former Secretary of State Colin Powell came out in support of Captain Hope on Sunday. This close to the end, and with Barack Obama's Action Rangers announcing that another $150 million was invested in his World of Tomorrow in September, The Gentleman from Arizona was doing his best to put lipstick on this pig by claiming "I love being the underdog." The good news for John McCain is that his choice of 'Bolt Action' Palin best exemplifies why men should not be allowed to decide elections as she has exposed them for the fairly simple and fairly stupid creatures they are. The bad news for John McCain -- with people pointing out his mistakes and facing fights in traditionally conservative states -- is that Sarah Palin's not the one running for president. Of course, with all the problems that lie in store for the next president, one wonders why anyone would want the job.

Never rains but it pours

While the monster continued to eat the economy, the Gentleman from Arizona was seeking a stay of his own electoral execution, the U.S. government rushed head first to bring the nation closer to insolvency, U.S. Naval personnel were engaging in target practice in the newly renovated Somali firing range, North Korea has helpfully decided to bar inspectors, removed seals and shut off cameras at its main nuclear plant. This newest spat couldn't come at a worse time for the GOP. King George is set to try to convince the American people (those who still have homes, televisions and the time to watch them) this evening that this bailout plan is in their best interest, even as Captain Hope's poll numbers begin to advance both beyond McCain's and beyond the margin of error. The net result is likely to be that the monster presently squishing the economy under foot is likely going to eat the GOP's presidential hopes.

Debates that may actually matter

On deck for this coming Friday it'll be in this corner, the Gentleman from Arizona and in this corner, it's Captain Hope. We'll be presented with two different visions: Bush 3.0 vs the World of Tomorrow. With the race so close, it's hard to know which way this will go. Stay tuned.

South from Alaska

In what everybody seems to be calling a surprise move, the Gentleman from Arizona chose a hockey mom half his age with five children to be his running mate. John McCain’s birthday gift to the GOP as his vice presidential candidate is Gov. Sarah Palin, 44 (even younger than Barack Obama), of Alaska -- Wonkette’s favorite GILF. A woman of several firsts, she is the first female GOP vp contender and Alaska’s first female governor. And while she was an agent of change elected by the voters to clean up Anchorage, she’s not entirely squeaky clean either. She may “have tried to have her state official fire her ex-brother-in-law from his job as a state trooper.” She opposes abortion and is all for drilling for natural gas in Alaska, making her a schizophrenic choice for McCain. The consensus seems to be that she was chosen to attract young and the disaffected women voters. At their first appearance together in Dayton, Ohio, McCain praised Palin for having “got the grit, integrity, good sense and fierce devotion to the common good.” So what’s going to happen when he gets upset at her for her makeup?

Money, publicity and unity

Now the games really begin. The Democrats will open the 2008 general election season today with their four-day infomercial, the Democratic National Convention. Nothing of substance will actually be done, but that's not the point anymore. This week the party will take the opportunity to pull together and sell its candidate's strong and weak points before a live audience, where Barack Obama does best. The two biggest things set for this convention will be full credentialling of the Florida and Michigan delegates and that Hillary Clinton will let her people go Wednesday night. So let the games begin.

Biden his time

Barack Obama opted to follow King George in picking a running mate with foreign policy cred. Senate Foreign Relations Committee chairman Joseph R. Biden Jr. of Delaware has plenty of that. He was originally a critic of Captain Hope and his lack of foreign policy experience, and is now a critic of the Gentleman from Arizona’s experience. Probably in an effort to meet German media deadlines, news of the decision was released at 3 a.m. through emails and text messages. It would seem that actual 3 a.m. phone calls are reserved for emergencies. The dynamic duo is set to go public for the first time Saturday afternoon in Springfield, Ill.

Rattle and hum

Going into the convention portion of the election, chatter abounds. Much is a consequence of the absence of declared vice-presidential candidates -- and nobody votes for a candidate based on a veep anyway. Conservatives and Democrats are uncharacteristically united on one thing: they do not like the idea of McCain Lieberman. And even the overseas press is trotting out the same names for a possible Obama veep: Joe Biden, Tim Kaine and Evan Bayh. Then of course there's the horse-race aspect with different polls showing how it's neck and neck, and arms, legs and neck. There also is all the "analysis" over how a candidate's style -- specifically Captain Hope's -- may not be sufficient to win the election when the conventions haven't even happened yet. Or how the number a candidate's homes -- specifically the Gentleman from Arizona's -- is the only thing preventing a complete collapse of the housing market. All of this chatter so that that the media can fill idle hours that might be better spent doing actual, but more expensive journalism.

New boss, old ways

Ah, that Sam Zell, he can gut a corporate machine, but he can't change its culture. Barack Obama and Sen. Evan Bayh stopped into a Schoops in Portage, Ind., for four cheezeburgers with the works. You wouldn't know that if you visited the Chicago Tribune's web site. You see, if it happened on the eastern side of the border, well, it didn't happen (they did give prime real estate space down page to the Paris Hilton video spoofing John McCain though). Standard operating procedure for the Trib. It was billed as an unannounced campaign stop and it drew about 100 onlookers seeing if they could catch a glimpse of Captain Hope. But how unannounced could it have been if there was a sudden crush of the media: except, apparently, the Chicago Tribune.

Oh, that explains it

Hmm ... maybe former senator and presidential candidate Fred Thompson had an overactive laziness gene. And while we're on the subject of candidates and celebrity, the Gentleman from Arizona is equating Barack Obama with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in a new attack ad that everyone and his second cousin twice removed is talking about. Somebody needs to get McCain a new toy that will make him feel like a celebrity again. Someone should also remind him that sometimes a lazy celebrity does get elected president.

100 days and counting

The run for the White House is reaching its final stretch. In the wake of the Magical World Tour, Acting President Obama and the Gentleman from Arizona are already having their tax numbers called into question. Both plans would probably run deficits, but Obama's (1.3 percent of GDP) would likely be smaller than McCain's (1.8 percent). Obama's plan would more likely benefit the middle class while McCain's would benefit the upper class. Of course all of this follows the prediction by Team Bush of a record budget deficit of $490 billion for the 2009 budget year. And while Sen. Kent Conrad (D. N.D.) was busy calling the Actual President At Least On Paper Bush the Worst. President. Ever. an internal report at the Justice Department was calling Alberto Gonzales Worst. Attorney General. Ever. So going into the last 100 days, one expects that this reality show will have more plot twists than a season of Mad Men, but will be less interesting to watch.

Time to Barack n Roll

Barack Obama's Magical World Tour packed the haus in the heart of Berlin's Tiergarten. Obama met with German Chancellor Angela Merkel, back from her day trip to Ukraine. And while the two discussed security concerns, Merkel reportedly tartly remarked that the preferred site, the Brandenburg Gate, was reserved for presidents, not candidates. Apparently those of rock star status have to settle for standing under the angel. Obama gave his anticipated speech before a crowd estimated in the 100,000 range. The speech was a message of unity of Europe and America and their shared responsibility. The audience lined up for hours and security resembled that of an airport. And while the Germans seem to love him, the French may prove to be a tougher crowd when the Magical World Tour arrives there Friday. Mon dieu!

The Gray Lady vs. The Gentleman from Arizona

Bad writing or bad judgement? You decide. Either way this is a text-book example of a dysfunctional relationship.

Obama's magical world tour

Barack Obama's trip to Afghanistan, as part of a Congressional junket, had a rather inauspicious start. In what has been called a "misunderstanding", between nine and 13 Afghan police officers were killed in an airstrike in Afghanistan's Farah province. This is just the latest in a string of recent incidents that have resulted in dead Afghan civilians. Obama's call for a 16 month timetable for a withdrawal from Iraq has met with approval by Iraqi leader Nouri al-Maliki, though Maliki says his comments are no endorsement of Obama. Not that it mattered. The Obama camp jumped on Maliki's comments anyway. Obama is set to stand under the angel in the middle of Berlin's Teirgarten next week. While Europeans seem to have great affection for Obama, Europe's leaders are sniffing warily at his policy proposals and inexperience. And so Obama had lunch with the troops and Afghan President Hamid Karzai Sunday morning. And while the exchange seemed pleasant enough, one hopes that there'll be fewer "misunderstandings" in the days ahead.

One picture, thousands of words

The first rule of humor is it should be funny. The second rule is that if you have to explain the joke, then it isn’t funny. An art professor once explained that art should make the viewer uncomfortable. Well the New Yorker certainly accomplished that. At the end of an interview aired on Monday with Terri Gross on NPR’s Fresh Air, Ryan Lizza was at pains to explain the cover of the issue in which his story about Barack Obama was featured. He described Barry Blitt’s cover as an act of satire that would have been clearly understood by the magazine’s readership. Well that readership consists of all of 500 people, (It used to be 501 but we let our subscription lapse in the late 1990s) and they're not the Budweiser drinking public either (New Yorker readers probably drink Samuel Adams). That's left The New Yorker’s editor busy trying to do damage control.

That's unfortunate because the cover was supposed to expose the ridiculousness of the rightwing caricature of Barack and Michelle Obama. Sadly, it wasn’t received that way. Interestingly enough, the offending cover isn’t even on The New Yorker’s home page. Still, the cover made a point about the necessity of satire during an election season. Gary Trudeau offers some interesting thoughts about modern satire as a cartoonist. He rightly bemoans the dearth of satire on the comics pages and the disappearance of the political cartoonist from newsrooms across America.

In his book, “Culture of Complaint”, art critic Robert Hughes makes the argument against the use of modern art to champion political causes. He doesn’t seem to have considered the place of satire in art to puncture political pretentiousness. Nor does he seem to have erected a tent big enough to include Trudeau and Blitt and those practicing their trade. In the end, any work of art has to stand and fall on its own merits. If it doesn’t, then it probably has failed, and no amount of explaining can fix that.

Independent's Day

One served time in the Minnesota governor's mansion, the other served time in the Michigan penal system. Both are listed as independents and both has thrown their hats into the election ring. Looking to be the leader of the "Dark Alley" caucus, the former Jesse 'the Governor' Ventura would like us to stand by to standby for a possible Tuesday maybe for his entry into a race between incumbent Minnesota Sen. Norm Coleman and everybody's favorite fun-time Comedy Central "Indecision" comedian and Strange Bedfellow of Arianna Huffington, Al Franken. Looking to be the leader of the "Death Becomes a Congressmen" caucus is none other than Dr. Death himself, Jack Kevorkian. Kevorkian is running against incumbent Republican Joe Knollenberg in Michigan. The only one who seems to be in this race for something beyond himself is Ralph Nader. His purpose in running on the national level is to provide inspiration for independent candidates at all levels. And in this election, that may be one of the most inspiring messages any candidate can offer.

Doing Obama's numbers

While the rich may have won their day in court, their days may be numbered. Obama’s economic plans begin to emerge and it’s a repudiation of the Team Bush approach. Families with a combined annual income of $250,000 or higher, or single filers with an income of $200,000 or higher will feel it in the pocketbook. The top two tax brackets would go back up from 33 and 35 percent under Team Bush to 36 and 39 percent. Obama is also making the suggestion that the way we pay for Social Security may be made more equitable with a more progressive taxing scale. That’s probably how he’s realistically going to pay for his spending proposals of $10 billion on childhood education, $150 billion over 10 years on alternative energy and $60 billion over 10 years on infrastructure. One thing is clear, with the passing of Team Bush, the salad days for the wealthy may soon be over.

With friends like these ...

Even as his wife and Blogette daughter tour Asia, the Gentleman from Arizona was busy in California trying to reboot his Team Bush-esque energy policy. He's proposing a $300 million competition to build a better battery to power electric cars. Along the way, he received a very bizarre endorsement. In an interview with the BBC, Tran Trong Duyet, McCain's captor during the Vietnam war said "I wish him success in the presidential election ... I consider John McCain my friend." Umm, this coming from the man who denied torturing him during his stay in the Hanoi Hilton. In the meantime, McCain needs to close the fundraising gap between himself and Barack Obama. And while he's shown an ability to repeatedly return from the dead, the Gentleman from Arizona is indeed in need of some more friends.