'This is the real deal. This is not a test.'

Three years after Katrina came to town, the Big Easy is set to host another major storm. Gustav, a Cat 3 hurricane with 120 mph winds, is focusing its eye on New Orleans. This could be a good or bad thing for the GOP, which hosts its blab-fest this week, because it means that Gov. Bobby Jindal of Louisiana, Gov. Rick Perry of Texas and King George will not be attending. Team Bush will be in the Batcave monitoring the storm, except for Bush himself, who will be in Texas. The Gentleman from Arizona and his new girlfriend are scheduled to make a stop in the region as the storm of the century threatens to once again take the spotlight off his campaign just when he got it back. Mandatory evacuations were ordered for Jefferson County and New Orleans and every agency that screwed things up the last time is lining up to show they're Ameri-CANS -- not Ameri-CAN'Ts -- this time. More than a million reportedly fled the region Saturday, and all lanes of the roads were changed to flow in only one direction: out. Mayor Ray Nagin has advised everyone get the hell out of town, noting that "if you decide to stay; you are on your own."

South from Alaska

In what everybody seems to be calling a surprise move, the Gentleman from Arizona chose a hockey mom half his age with five children to be his running mate. John McCain’s birthday gift to the GOP as his vice presidential candidate is Gov. Sarah Palin, 44 (even younger than Barack Obama), of Alaska -- Wonkette’s favorite GILF. A woman of several firsts, she is the first female GOP vp contender and Alaska’s first female governor. And while she was an agent of change elected by the voters to clean up Anchorage, she’s not entirely squeaky clean either. She may “have tried to have her state official fire her ex-brother-in-law from his job as a state trooper.” She opposes abortion and is all for drilling for natural gas in Alaska, making her a schizophrenic choice for McCain. The consensus seems to be that she was chosen to attract young and the disaffected women voters. At their first appearance together in Dayton, Ohio, McCain praised Palin for having “got the grit, integrity, good sense and fierce devotion to the common good.” So what’s going to happen when he gets upset at her for her makeup?

Crazy Ivans

Russian czar Vladimir Putin is not a happy man. Whatever he hoped to gain on the international stage from his highly scripted splendid little war in Georgia has not gone quite to plan. Putin now blaming the U.S. presidential candidates, U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney and the Soul Train Dancers for the Georgia War. Indeed, Russian representative to NATO Dmitri O. Rogozin is equating Sept. 11, 2001, with the start of the Georgia War, Aug, 8, 2008. But Rogozin's bluster may actually be less than is imagined. U.S. Assistant secretary of state for European and Eurasian affairs Daniel Fried is making the case that the war is about Russia acting out over its perceived shortcomings rather than the act of a strong nation. In the meantime, France is calling for an emergency EU summit to address the crisis and sanctions are on the table. And while the world deals with Putin's punitive expedition against its neighbor, the real victims, as usual, are likely to be the Russian's themselves.

Torchwood calling

Clearly, here's a man who's missed his calling. A Briton hacker has lost his extradition appeal in the European Court of Human Rights. Gary McKinnon is accused by the U.S. government of hacking into 97 military and NASA computers. McKinnon claims he was seeking information on UFOS. Of course, while the hacks probably do constitute a criminal act, the real scandal is that he defeated whatever countermeasures were in place and accessed the NASA, Army, Navy and Air Force computers in the first place. As the computer attacks occurred after Sept. 11, 2001, he could be tried as a terrorist in the U.S., and that can only end in tears and a trip to GITMO. Maybe he should have applied for admission as agent of U.N.I.T. or the Torchwood Institute first.

Teaching the bear to dance

While Team Bush has been busy pushing ships into the Black Sea loaded up with humanitarian aid for Georgia, the buzz is that military aid could maybe be a possibility, if they can figure out how to do it without enraging the bear. And the bear is grumbling over the number of NATO ships presently in the Black Sea. While accusing the U.S. of bringing in weapons to Georgia, Russia is pointing to a 1936 treaty which says the offending ships can only stay three weeks. The fleet isn't the only stick poking the bear either. UK Foreign Secretary David Miliband, while visiting Ukraine, called for the EU and NATO to "rebalance" their relations to Russia. Whatever THAT might mean. This comes as Ukraine’s president, Viktor A. Yushchenko has decided now would be a good time to raise the rent on Russia's naval base in the Crimea. WIth all this poking, the bear is being backed into a corner. And that could be enough to enrage the bear again.

The Bear still down in Georgia

Russia recognized the independence of South Ossetia and Azkaban (umm Abkhazia) in the wake of the Georgia War. Russia asked everyone to join hands and sing kum-by-ahh. The West was not amused. Russia was playing the part of Rome, claiming the regions requested to secede. While the best that U.S. Secretary of State State Condoleezza Rice could muster was that the Russian move was d.o.a. in the Security Council, German Chancellor Angela Merkel stood up and declared that Russia's move was against international law. And all the while, Russia troops are still in Georgia despite the terms of the ceasefire agreement. In the end, it seems the bear will remain Georgia's cross to bear.

Complete nunsense

They had to pay Poles to line up for the iPhone: Reuters

Hail Mary? BBC

One puppy vs. three bears: USA Today

An uncommon cure for cancer: Times of India

Moving through Kashmir

On the other side of the subcontinent, India is experiencing some pains of its own. Fears of protests for independence from India by Kashmir separatists forced a curfew over the weekend. Leaders were rounded up ahead of the planned protests. At least four were killed and 70 injured Monday by police. Clashes over region disputed by both India and Pakistan have resulted in at least 25 dead and 500 injured. The region is a powder keg, one historically driven by both the Pakistanis and the administrative structure of the region itself. The latest match was a government plan in June, since rescinded, over 99 acres of land to the Amarnath Shrine Board. Of course, considering India's continuing social growing pains, things could be a lot worse.

Crash and burn

It seems that Pervez Musharraf was enough to hold Pakistan's ruling coalition together but the Taliban is not. Nawaz Sharif pulled his Pakistan Muslim League-N party out of the five-month-old government on Monday, blaming Asif Ali Zardari for breaking his promises. While it is unlikely to force a new election, it has caused plenty of collateral damage. The rupee tanked; judges, who were to be reinstated as part of an agreement between Sharif's and Zardari's parties are still not back in office for Zardari's own self-serving reasons as Zardari has launched his own bid for the presidency; and despite being officially banned, or perhaps because of it, the Taliban is taking aim at politicians again.

Money, publicity and unity

Now the games really begin. The Democrats will open the 2008 general election season today with their four-day infomercial, the Democratic National Convention. Nothing of substance will actually be done, but that's not the point anymore. This week the party will take the opportunity to pull together and sell its candidate's strong and weak points before a live audience, where Barack Obama does best. The two biggest things set for this convention will be full credentialling of the Florida and Michigan delegates and that Hillary Clinton will let her people go Wednesday night. So let the games begin.

Technology in the mirror may be further than it appears

Shai Agassi is back in the news with his plans for an electric car. His idea was reported on earlier in the year and now has gotten fuller coverage. His plan would be an energy network system akin to cell phone service where energy for the car is treated like cell phone minutes in a network. It is an imaginative leap forward. The auto industry is also taking a technological leap forward. Chrysler, it seems is rolling out the 2009 line of cars with Wi-Fi and Internet access for both the front and rear seat passengers. Not that we're not bad enough as drivers as it is. So we could one day be network dependent drivers, rather than gasoline dependent ones. As it stands though, the marriage of these innovations may be later rather than sooner.

Biden his time

Barack Obama opted to follow King George in picking a running mate with foreign policy cred. Senate Foreign Relations Committee chairman Joseph R. Biden Jr. of Delaware has plenty of that. He was originally a critic of Captain Hope and his lack of foreign policy experience, and is now a critic of the Gentleman from Arizona’s experience. Probably in an effort to meet German media deadlines, news of the decision was released at 3 a.m. through emails and text messages. It would seem that actual 3 a.m. phone calls are reserved for emergencies. The dynamic duo is set to go public for the first time Saturday afternoon in Springfield, Ill.

Two blasts to the past

The parties continue to squabble as Pakistan burns. The Taliban claimed responsibility for two suicide attacks on the Pakistan Ordnance Factories at Wah Cantonment. The attacks apparently were in retaliation for air strikes against a militant stronghold in Bajaur, and are an attempt to cow the government into stopping attacks against them. This represents the first attempt to hit Pakistan's capacity to fight the militants as the region attacked is the heart of Pakistan's military-industrial complex. Between 25,000 and 30,000 people are employed in the area. The attack comes in the power vacuum left by the resignation of President Pervez Musharraf. Militants are taking advantage of the Pakistani government's division over the reinstatement of judges ousted by Musharraf. The region attacked is near the city of Taxila, home of ancient Buddhist ruins. If the coalition government if it doesn't pull it together quickly, it may join Taxila.

Rattle and hum

Going into the convention portion of the election, chatter abounds. Much is a consequence of the absence of declared vice-presidential candidates -- and nobody votes for a candidate based on a veep anyway. Conservatives and Democrats are uncharacteristically united on one thing: they do not like the idea of McCain Lieberman. And even the overseas press is trotting out the same names for a possible Obama veep: Joe Biden, Tim Kaine and Evan Bayh. Then of course there's the horse-race aspect with different polls showing how it's neck and neck, and arms, legs and neck. There also is all the "analysis" over how a candidate's style -- specifically Captain Hope's -- may not be sufficient to win the election when the conventions haven't even happened yet. Or how the number a candidate's homes -- specifically the Gentleman from Arizona's -- is the only thing preventing a complete collapse of the housing market. All of this chatter so that that the media can fill idle hours that might be better spent doing actual, but more expensive journalism.

No more Mr. Nice Guys

One imagines that the cease-fire agreement between Russia and Georgia was akin to those modern day television drug ads where the "side affects may include" portion passes in a blur. Side effects in this case seem to include the detention of Georgian soldiers, and the "deliberate destruction of civilian infrastructure” by Russian forces that, like a bad case of cockroaches, refuse to go away. While some of Russia's forces have been seen pulling out of Gori, they still had artillery in place and were manning checkpoints outside of Tbilisi. This has Brussels in a twitter and they're boldly declaring that until Russia's out of Georgia, it won't be business as usual. But the response is likely to remain muddled because Europe's internal divisions over Russia run nearly as deep as it's division with the U.S. over Russia. Whatever happens next will likely be a bitter pill to swallow with unpredictable side affects.

Sun sets on Musharraf

America's man Musharraf is stepping down as of Monday. Four provincial legislatures apparently passed no confidence votes against him prior to stepping down and an army general may have helped smooth the path. Replacing him is the next hurdle to be overcome by the parliament, and that could fracture it current unity. While the U.S. remained concerned about potential instability, the Afghans were relieved to learn that he is leaving. Parliament provided Musharraf with a ceremonial honor guard to show him the door. Musharraf will get to stay in Pakistan for the immediate future, but parliament has 30 days to find a replacement. Good luck with that.

The Musharraf shuffle

It seems that Team Bush is standing behind its man and "good ally" Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf (ironically, also a friend of the Daily Show). They're not the only ones though. Saudi Arabia sent it's intelligence chief to Pakistan to argue for a "safe exit" for the embattled president who finds himself facing possible impeachment. On Saturday, Musharraf was given his two-day notice to either walk or face parliament. A preliminary draft is already written up and the dominant party is ready to proceed. But first, there may be a confidence vote come Monday. And the two sides continued to negotiate as Musharraf wants immunity if he steps down and both sides are arguing over what immunity means. And while Team Bush may stand behind its man, it's clear they're not in a hurry to have him hang in their crib if it come to that.

Secret Agent Ma'am

One may want to pause the next time Emeril Lagasse shouts "BAM!" The personnel records of America's most beloved chefs / secret agents has been released. In documents made public Thursday, Julia Child was listed among the 24,000 agents who served in the Office of Strategic Services, the forerunner of the CIA. As surprising as that my be, how many gasped with horror when it was learned that Katarina Witt had an intimate relationship with the East German Stasi? Turns out that Child's work was less dramatic. She did clerical work for OSS Director William Donovan under her maiden name McWilliams. She described for the OSS her relationship with the managers at a store where she previously as a "tactical error." So the next time your favorite entertainer disappears, they may be busy serving king and country by "kicking things up a notch" and making things go "BAM!"

What's my line?

Who wants to be a pirate? : CNN

A classic case of mistaken identity: AP

She gave good head: BBC

Found it on eBay: Reuters

Dasvidanya and thanks for all Ossetia

The U.S. is sending Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice on a trip to Tbilisi, Georgia even as the U.S. military is sending humanitarian relief. This follows a meeting with French President Nicolas Sarkozy, the man who actually negotiated the current cease-fire between the two nations. The signals remain muddled over who exactly is doing what, and to whom. Russia says that as far as territorial integrity is concerned, Georgia can "Forgedda' 'bout it!" The mood in Moscow is decidedly mixed. The long-term consequences of the conflict remain unclear as well, though the U.S. has cancelled a joint military exercise with Russia. The consensus on the matter is that America and Europe will not fight over Georgia, that the Russians will run out the clock on Team Bush and that Russia will win this round. While RIce may be going to Georgia, she might very well being going to Canossa.

In other, non-Georgia-related news

Iran: No really! We love everybody: NYTimes

Houston, there will be a slight delay: AP

You got to fight for your right to bear all: ChiTrib

Picking Pooh Bear with a stick: Reuters

The number one threat: The Bear

While the shooting may have ostensibly stopped, the war in cyberspace continues. Indeed, Russia may have held a dress rehearsal in cyberspace before the Georgia War began. As early as July 20, distributed denial of service, or D.D.O.S., attacks against Georgian sites were underway. This would go further to undermine any claim by Russia to humanitarian intervention in South Ossetia. The International Criminal Court at The Hague has not ruled out an investigation into the Georgia conflict and what has gone on there. But the Georgia War may really have been driven by Russia's bent feelings over not being taken seriously since the end of the cold war. That may have had the unintended consequence of bringing Russian-American relations right back where they started a mere 7 years ago.

Georgia on our minds

France and Russia announced a six-point plan for the end of hostilities in Georgia. Russian President Dmitri A. Medvedev announced an end to military operations in Georgia, though the rules of engagement seem to remain a bit flexible. In turn, Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili, in consultation with parliament, is withdrawing from the Commonwealth of Independent States which replaced the Soviet Union, cutting away the last ties to its past with Russia. And while there are many lessons to be learned from the Georgia war, the most important for Georgia's ties to the west is that it "is unlikely to join NATO anytime soon."

"Where are our friends?”

That was the lament of a soldier in Gori making a forced retreat as the Russians continued their advance. Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili was reduced to running for cover as the Russians continued to attempt regime change and demand the unconditional surrender of the Georgian army. The Georgians are caught in a diplomatic limbo as they are not NATO members, but were seeking NATO membership and clearly expected the support of their new friends. The best they have gotten is an EU delegation trying to mediate the end of hostilities. And while Georgia is hardly a complete innocent in this matter, any response is problematic. Especially when one considers that Cossacks who are coming to the region to fight don't believe Russia has even invaded Georgia. So while the proxy war between Russia and the West continues to burn, it's leaving the Georgians themselves to ask what kind of friends are these?

When the bear gets you

In what appears to be a clear escalation of hostilities against an enemy that has already called for a cease fire, Russia is advancing against Georgia, marching troops against the town of Gori, sinking a Georgian naval vessel, and continuing attacks against Tbilisi International Airport. Russia seems to be after more than a bit of real estate. It seems to be more interested in regime change. The Georgians are dug in and preparing to defend Gori. If it comes to that, the details certainly will be gory.

French and Finlandian envoys arrived in the region to mediate the dispute. The week promises to be a tough one for Germany's Chancellor Angela Merkel when she meets the supposed president of Russia Dmitry Medvedev on Aug. 15. She's likely to bring up the Georgia War, and he's likely to remind her of where her gas comes from. Russia claims it wants peace and is prepared to negotiate. A fourth round of talks has begun in the U.N. Security Council. While there is plenty of U.S. condemnation of the attacks, there has been no resolution on the issue. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon has bravely called events "dangerously destablizing." Meanwhile, in Beijing, the Georgians took the gold medal in the women's 10-meter air pistol event, beating the Russians, who came in second.

Georgia burning

In a four-day shooting war that was meant to bring a breakaway province back under government control, Tskhinvali, the capital of South Ossetia is now a ruin. The citizens of the region voted for independence by a 99 percent margin in November 2006. The casualty numbers in the short war between Russia and Georgia are in dispute, but, as always, it is the civilians who are getting the worst of it. The Russian advance was expected on three fronts, following the landing of troops by the Black Sea fleet. Alarmed, Team Bush and Team Sarko are as busy trying to negotiate a ceasefire as the Georgians are trying to withdraw in order to get Russia to accept one. There's a dispute over whether Georgia has withdrawn from the area: Georgia says it has, Russia says it hasn't. Worse, the two countries dispute the boundaries of the region under fire which means that Russia's 58th Army could end up sitting on what is traditionally regarded as Georgian real estate. The Russians also are being accused of opening up another front in the Abkhazia region to the west of Georgia. That has left Ukraine saying it may not let Russian ships return to their base in the Crimea.

The region remains a simmering hotbed for lingering Cold War rivalries. It provides Russia with strategic access to the Iranian / Turkish region and strategic oil and gas supply routes run through the area. And while the U.N. Security Council dithers, it's likely that the real winner in this will ultimately be Russia and the losers will be Georgia, Ukraine and their hopes for either EU or NATO membership.

War of Russian aggression

Georia is currently mired in a new hair pulling contest with Russia over a chunk of real estate called South Ossetia. This breakaway plantation seceded from its union with Georgia after the collapse of the Soviet Union and Russian peacekeepers have been in the region ever since. Of course, oil is at the heart of this conflict as much of Russia’s oil passes through the region and into world markets. President Mikheil Saakashvili of Georgia was elected on a campaign platform to restore the union and he’s an American ally whose nation shares a border with Turkey. South Ossetians feel a kinship to Russia and apparently they carry Russian passports. Team Bush is sending envoys to try to sort out the mess. The question is whether the march of these two armies into South Ossetia will result in a modern Gettysburg.

New boss, old ways

Ah, that Sam Zell, he can gut a corporate machine, but he can't change its culture. Barack Obama and Sen. Evan Bayh stopped into a Schoops in Portage, Ind., for four cheezeburgers with the works. You wouldn't know that if you visited the Chicago Tribune's web site. You see, if it happened on the eastern side of the border, well, it didn't happen (they did give prime real estate space down page to the Paris Hilton video spoofing John McCain though). Standard operating procedure for the Trib. It was billed as an unannounced campaign stop and it drew about 100 onlookers seeing if they could catch a glimpse of Captain Hope. But how unannounced could it have been if there was a sudden crush of the media: except, apparently, the Chicago Tribune.

Split decision

The end was never really in doubt. Just the details. And it's in the details where things get interesting. Salim Ahmed Hamdan, Osama bin Laden's driver, and the first to face the U.S. military's tribunal was found guilty of five of eight counts of providing material support for terrorism. But the same jury of six military officers found him not guilty on the two conspiracy charges. The results of the trial will keep the debate churning over the tribunal's fairness. The case was conducted under the Military Commissions Act of 2006, and, interestingly enough, neither side declared a mistrial despite unclear instructions from the judge to the jury. An appeals process exists, and the defense plans to appeal on the grounds that providing material support may not even constitute a war crime. While the end of this process remains in doubt, what does not is that this marks only it's beginning.

Who knew?

Gorillas in our midst: CNN

Pioneering the women's bra: BBC

The smell of money: US News

Too fat to die: ChiTrib

Jury's out

The defense in the case of Salim Hamdan, 28-ish, of Yemen, rested and his case went to jury on Monday. His lawyers claimed that "changing lug nuts and oil filters" didn't constitute war crimes and alluding that Hamden, in the secret evidence stash, had actually offered to help the U.S. in Afghanistan. And Hamdan got paid a measley $200 a month for his services. If he's found innocent, he stays in GITMO. If he's guilty, he stays in GITMO. Either way, it'll remain bad for Osama bin Laden's former driver.

Aww, poor baby

The wrath of current economic conditions seems to be affecting the wealthy as well as the poor, though, as one might expect, not in equal measure:

"(Joseph) DiRenzo is looking for a smaller, cheaper home. He also may buy a hybrid to supplement the two Mercedes Benzes in his heated four-car garage. And, he's driving less these days."

So while the economy seems to have eaten the economic stimulus and coughed up an inflation ball, never forget that the wealthy share your pain. They just have a better care package.

Passing of a Noble Prize winner

Nobel prize winning Russian novelist Alexander Solzhenitsyn died of heart failure. Best known for his work "Gulag Archipelago," based on his own experiences in the Soviet work camps. He was deported from the Soviet Union in 1970, but returned to Russia in 1990. He was a bold critic of both east and west.

He was 89.

How do you solve a problem like Pakistan

'Some American officials have begun to suggest that Pakistan is no longer a fully
reliable American partner' - The New York Times

Pakistan has issues. Not only is the loyalty of its Intelligence Service in question, it seems to be fighting a war on two fronts, both of them against India. There is now direct evidence linking the Pakistanis to the bombing of an Indian embassy in Afghanistan. This comes in the wake of a shelling of Indian positions in Kashmir across the Line of Control. It's clear that Pakistan can't get past its rivalry with India, and that it can't seem to adjust to a changing world where India is moving into closer alignment with what historically had been Pakistan's benefactor. Unless Pakistan deals with its issues, it'll be relegated the the dustbin of history.