Oh, that explains it

Hmm ... maybe former senator and presidential candidate Fred Thompson had an overactive laziness gene. And while we're on the subject of candidates and celebrity, the Gentleman from Arizona is equating Barack Obama with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in a new attack ad that everyone and his second cousin twice removed is talking about. Somebody needs to get McCain a new toy that will make him feel like a celebrity again. Someone should also remind him that sometimes a lazy celebrity does get elected president.

D'oha!

The failure of Mata Bharat, the August Presence in Jade and Uncle Sam to come to a compromise may have killed the Doha Round of negotiations in the WTO. Proponents of the agreement argue that tariffs world-wide would have dropped by $130 billion a year. An agricultural "safeguard clause" threshold issue lay at the heart of the collapse with the U.S. catching the blame. The EU's trade negotiator bitterly noted that seven years of hard labor over the agreement were scuttled over a technicality. Doomsayers are squawking about how this could mean an end to multilateral agreements and a resurgence of bilateral agreements. Perhaps. Or perhaps the members of this dysfunctional frat will find their way back to the table and come up with a better solution over a few rounds of Duff.

A career to nowhere

What is it about the GOP this cycle? The newest member to join the scandal caucus is Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens. A member of congress since who moved to Alaska before it was even a state in the union -- apparently emigrating there when it was still connected to Russia by a glacier -- Stevens has been indicted by a grand jury on seven counts of falsely reporting income. It is connected to home improvements linked to the oil firm Veco and it's CEO Bill Allen. Perhaps he figured that living in Alaska, no one would notice the home upgrades and the shiny new Land Rover. Even his good pal Sen. Daniel Inouye said he wasn't surprised by the indictment, though he still supports him because, well, congresscritters from the non-contiguous states/possessions/territories/whatnot have to stick together. While VECO got a piece of the Exxon Valdez clean up action, it seems this is a mess that Stevens, his oil company friends and the GOP won't be able to drill their way out of.

100 days and counting

The run for the White House is reaching its final stretch. In the wake of the Magical World Tour, Acting President Obama and the Gentleman from Arizona are already having their tax numbers called into question. Both plans would probably run deficits, but Obama's (1.3 percent of GDP) would likely be smaller than McCain's (1.8 percent). Obama's plan would more likely benefit the middle class while McCain's would benefit the upper class. Of course all of this follows the prediction by Team Bush of a record budget deficit of $490 billion for the 2009 budget year. And while Sen. Kent Conrad (D. N.D.) was busy calling the Actual President At Least On Paper Bush the Worst. President. Ever. an internal report at the Justice Department was calling Alberto Gonzales Worst. Attorney General. Ever. So going into the last 100 days, one expects that this reality show will have more plot twists than a season of Mad Men, but will be less interesting to watch.

A short drop and a sudden stop

One imagines that Naples, Italy, mafia kingpin Adriano Graziano -- now spending quality time in a jail cell -- is glad he doesn't live in Iran. The Iranians made 29 prisoners do the hempen dance on various and sundry charges including murder, narcotics smuggling, armed robbery and organized crime. No word on whether said crimes included piracy and impersonating a clergy of the Church of England. Graziano is also probably glad he isn't Radovan Karadzic who was caught impersonating Dragan Dabic, apparently the Serbian Santa Claus. His lawyer may or may not have filed papers to fight Karadzic's extradition over the matter of 11 war crimes charges stemming from the Yugoslav war. Now that the Italians have swept the trash off the floor of a Roman clothing store, maybe now they can finish getting the trash off the streets of Naples.